Dear Future Self.
Dear future self,
Hey you, maybe ten or twenty years from now. I don't know if you remember writing this, but this is you from high school, and I am writing this with the intentions of reminding you of things that have always been important to you as well as what I hope you are right now. I just want to start with saying that I hope you have decided to stick with your passion of learning more about art history and art in general. This is something you've found that truly brings you happiness, and that is incredibly more important than learning about something that doesn't bring you joy. I also think that you should really keep writing. It is your best outlet for expressing your ideas and thoughts to other people, and it’s also doing amazing things for your mentality. (Not to mention that you also love doing it.) I really believe that you can go far with your writing if you keep striving to improve, so please, for your high school self, don't ever give up on it. I also anticipate that you accomplished your goal of getting into NYU. You really do deserve to go because of the long uphill battle you had to put into it, and I hope you've stopped doubting the fact that there are some things in life that you really do deserve to have. Not everything good in life is gifted to you for no reason, and the same goes for bad things. If you are reading this, and you maybe didn't end up getting accepted into NYU, just know that everything happens for a reason, and this is no excuse to give up chasing who you aspire to be. You still have the entirety of your life to do bigger, better things, and there are still so many things that you still need to accomplish. I hope you are finally somewhere where you are able to fully express every last drop of who you are and you are able to now pursue your passions without judgement. I also hope you've found a companion that is able to help guide you in the right direction of bettering yourself. Not necessarily a boyfriend, because boys aren't everything, but maybe a good friend. I know you think you can do a lot of things alone, but having someone by your side that supports you that is also there to steer you away from bad decisions is important for balance. Remember that even though you like to show that you are a strong, tough skinned person, it is okay to feel. Don't build up emotion just to let it out at all the wrong times. Similarly, remember that just because you want to be independent does not mean you shouldn't ask for help. Asking for help is okay, and will expand your abilities to be on your own. And all of this leads me to this big picture; get the hell out of where you are living right now and never look back. Start the life you have dreamed of having, go with the flow, and don't try to force anything you don't want. Even though you doubt it, you’re capable of doing amazing things. And I know you're going to miss your parents, and I know you're going to panic about being by yourself, but you need to push through, because this is where you belong, and this is all you've ever wanted. Remember to set a reminder on your phone right now to tell your parents you love them everyday, and thank them endlessly for giving you the life you have, and the abundance of support. And, most importantly, don't ever forget to love yourself before you love anyone else. Don’t let people stomp all over you, because you are in charge of your life and what you do with it. And last but not least, ALWAYS remember that boys are stupid and replaceable. Don't let them determine your wellbeing. Now, go do great things.
Love,
Jenna (your high school self)
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I wrote this in my journal around the middle of my sophomore year while I was actually working on getting this blog started. I never really intended on posting it on here, because it is obviously pretty personal, but something really changed my mind about it. Recently, I have been having a tough time figuring out what is worth posting on my blog, or what people would actually enjoy reading. While I was lying in my bed one night, I remembered that I wrote this note to myself in my journal a while back. After I read it over a few times, I realized that almost everything that I wrote could be applied not only to my life, but possibly other people’s lives as well. I feel like everyone has an image in their mind of where they want to be when they're older, even if that image is a little foggy for some people. I wanted to highlight the fact that that image in everyone’s head is one hundred percent possible to accomplish whether it is becoming an astronaut or living in the suburbs with a husband and five kids. Setting goals for yourself is so incredibly important, because it gives a reason to work hard now. During my sophomore year, I definitely struggled with creating goals for myself, because I was a person who wanted to have them, but I felt like there wasn't anything that I really could make a goal out of. I knew that I had always had a love for writing, but I thought that writing was an unrealistic goal for myself. After a lot of thinking and talking with people about it, I realized that I would never know if I could be successful at writing unless I tried. That lead to me to the idea of starting up my own blog, which is now allowing me to experiment with what I can say in my writing as well as figuring out what people like to read. Even though it is a small step, it is a step in the right direction of what I want to do in the long run. Starting to actually try and improve my writing made me realize that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to be unhappy in an office job that pays well, because I would rather be broke and be doing what I love than of making millions, but being miserable.
I feel like I notice way too often that people are hesitant to do certain things just because they are afraid of the judgement that comes along with it, and what I have to say to that is this. Your dreams are far more important than what one or two people out of the seven billion on this earth have to say about it. Inevitably, you are your own person, and if someone doesn't like what you're doing, they obviously have problems of their own to figure out. We tend to forget that the people who judge us for doing what we love now, are usually people that, in ten years, we will not even remember the names of. And trust me, I know that it is easier said than done to ignore judgement, but, in the long run, being successful later in life while enjoying what you love outweighs the judgement by a huge amount. Setting future goals for myself, such as moving to New York and pursuing writing, has given me a reason to get up in the morning and make everyday productive. Switching my mentality to be pinned on exactly where I want to be in a few years has not only given me the motivation to get the hard work done now, but has also provided me with a sense of accomplishment as I jump over each milestone. And even though working hard is something I have learned to love and appreciate, I allow myself breaks to be able to collect myself mentally, which I find to be incredibly important. So, don't be afraid to take what you love to do now, and start making it your reality for the future. No one ever regrets when the hard work pays off in the end.
