New York
New*York
New York. The city that doesn’t sleep. The Big Apple. Concrete Jungle. The place where dreams come true. I am the saddest I’ve ever been to leave this amazing city. I would say that the city made me feel like I was at home, but in my home I am not as comfortable and vibrant as I am in the city. Being in the place of dreams made my heart beat ten times faster, keeping me on the edge of my seat like I was at the top of a roller coaster, half a second from feeling my stomach plunge to my toes. It sent a rush of excitement down my spine, leaving me longing for another dose right as I stepped into the shuttle to leave that beautiful place. Not only was I intrigued by the gorgeous artwork; this place brought out the true colors of people I pass in the hallway with a smile and wave and no other acknowledgement, allowing me to meet people I’ve known for years a second time around. I found a piece of myself that I had been searching for to fill my desire of knowing the answer to the question of what I wanted to do with myself in this alluring, harsh world, and in return I left a piece of my heart. I learned who I strive to be and the type of people I want to surround myself with. I’ve learned that I’ve sculpted myself to be a person I clearly am not. I’ve realized my appreciation for the arts and love for people who love being themselves. I’ve realized that I love spending time with myself and thinking about the moments that I live everyday and applying that to the logic in my mind. It opened my eyes to how minuscule my problems are, because they diminished as soon as I stepped foot onto the concrete made of velvet and dreams, making me further appreciate the wonderful people I have in my life and reminding me to celebrate that every day, but also reminding myself to stay away from darkness that changes who I am. So, New York, ravishing soul, take my hand ,and never let go. Bring me through your tight streets and narrow alleys; expose me to more of the real world, and never let me fall back to the grounds of where I came from, because it is clearly not where I belong.
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I wrote this in my journal on the way back from my amazing AP Art History New York trip back in February, and here I am reading it again and still meaning every word of it. I have been to New York countless times, but this most recent trip really changed my life, and I am not hesitant to say that. I really think it is because of the fact that every other time I have been, it has been with my family, and when I am with my family things are a go-go-go kind of thing. Being there with a group of people that I honestly did not know very well and getting to experience being alone in the huge city really is what changed me. Before this trip I would have never thought of being a person to be friends with the people that went on that trip. Now they are the people I look up to quite honestly, because I love when people embrace who they are, and these people did just that. This trip opened my eyes to the fact that all my life I have been a person to always want to be in the “popular group” for the core purpose of fitting in, but finally being in these groups made me realize that I don’t want to waste my time on a social status, because it’s not worth giving up my own happiness and not doing things I love to do. Being my own person and being able to be care free of what people think about me and pinning my focus on what I love to do is something I have been looking to accomplish for the longest time. And trust me, I don’t have everything figured out. I am still in the middle of determining what exactly it is that sparks my happiness and who my close friends are. But what I have figured out is this. I do a lot of things such as things related with art and writing, and I have always been hesitant to showcase it to the world because I was always afraid of what other people would think. Going to New York and seeing all the different types of people express themselves through doing the things they love made me decide that I wanted to start showing people the things I have been working on, because that is the first step to being able to embrace myself and possibly inspire other people to do it as well. Not only did this trip make me realize things that I needed to start sharing about myself, but it also helped me figure out what I want to do with myself in the future and it helped me set bigger, clearer goals. I realized that NYU is the school of my dreams, and that I aspire to improve my artwork and writing as well as how passionate I am about learning art history. Aside from all this, the biggest question I get when I tell people about how much this city has changed me is “How can a city possibly tell you the answer to all these life questions?” And the answer to this is that the city was just so right for me, and it had to do with the relief of finding a place that I finally fit into. I have never been in a place in which I was surrounded by a huge crowd of people and not being obligated to acknowledge anyone else. As anti-social as that sounds, it allows for people watching and being able to admire other people’s art which sparks inspiration while being completely independent at the same time. It just made me want to create and never stop creating. Being surrounded by other people who don't follow a specific trend and go completely rogue on their fashion choices really stuck the idea in my mind that I don’t need to be like everyone else. I can be whoever the hell I want, and no one can do anything about it. This city assured me that this is 100% okay. In fact, it made me overall realize, as cliché as it sounds, that being yourself is truly the most important thing in the world and allows so many different levels of serenity and happiness. So, putting it all together, New York really did change my life. Whether people choose to believe that a city can change me is another story, but in my eyes it has created an entire new perspective in my mind that I hope to share with others in the future!
